Life in a Kitchen
by Yami and Kotori
Summary: Do you ever wonder what it's like to spend your whole life in a kitchen? Well, the girls in KHR know. And they're here to tell you. (the following is not true, well it is but you will barely ever see the kitchen in this so don't look forward to it. Oh, and, give me some pastries. I'm hungry.)
1. Welcome To The Kitchen

**Chapter 1: Welcome to the Kitchen, the Home of Housewives**

-Tsuna POV-

Even though we had solved everything during that long period in the future, why were we back here again?! I sighed as I stared at my friends, one Hibari, and one Mukuro appear before me.

"Oh, what happened to baseball practice?"

"Stupid baseball idiot, we were brought to the future!"

"TO THE EXTREME!"

"Hmph."

"Oya oya, what do we have here?"

Reborn sat on my head.

"Reborn! Do you know what's going on?"

"I have no clue."

Suddenly, Giannini-san came over to us.

"Oh thank goodness you're here boss!"

I turned to him, "what's going on?"

"Well, Irie-san and Spanner-san helped call you here because apparently a group of kids were transferred here from the past."

"Isn't that us?"

"Besides you."

"Oh."

"Apparently, it's a group of girls."

"Well, what will we do?"

"To tell you the truth, we don't know but they seem very dangerous."

"DANGEROUS TO THE EXTREME!?"

I sighed, pushing Ryohei aside, "did you drag Enma into this?"

"No, but if you would-"

"NO! I don't want to bother him."

Suddenly, the lights above us began to flash.

"Alert. Alert."

Giannini alarmed, ran to his computer, "this is bad! Someone broke in!"

Everyone stood there in shock.

"What are you all doing? Find out where they are." Reborn said.

"R-right. I can't see them well, but I think they're in the boss's room."

Hibari-san left first, with Mukuro tagging along and soon we all followed. We continued to run until Hibari-san stopped.

"What's the matter?"

"There's a girl sleeping on his bed."

I moved around Hibari-san to see a small girl, shorter than I was, sleeping on the bed. She wore a long orange jacket, blue jeans, and a pink shirt on the inside. She had put her orange hat on my bedside table. Reborn jumped off my head and pointed a gun at her head.

"Wake up." He said and the girl stirred before finally getting up.

"Jeez mom, it's only a Sunday. Lemme sleep a little more." She said, rubbing her head.

"It's a Tuesday."

"EVERY DAY IS LIKE SUNDAY TO ME."

WHAT THE HECK!?

She finally fully opened her eyes and stared at us with no emotion.

"Um...who are you?"

"THAT'S WHAT WE'D LIKE TO KNOW!"

"I'm Kotori Nanase!"

"DON'T JUST GIVE AWAY YOUR IDENTITY!"

"Why? I didn't do anything wrong."

"You broke in. Broke. In."

"Oh that? C'mon, that's nothing! Besides, there are more people with me."

"Say what?!"

"What."

"Not that."

"Aw."

Gokudera grabbed the girl and shoved her into the wall.

"Who are you!? What do you want!?"

"Gokudera-kun, stop! Don't go-"

"Ow. That hurt. It really hurts now."

Is she okay? She looked up at us, her eyes bloodshot and cold.

"Hey, how are you gonna pay for this? My whole body hurts."

She suddenly went sadistic!?

Yamamoto gently pushed away Gokudera's hand, "a ha ha, sorry about him!"

The girl stared at him. There's no way we're getting off easy.

"Ah, don't worry. It didn't really hurt." She said, with no emotion.

BUT YOU JUST SAID YOUR WHOLE BODY HURTS.

"Come with us." Reborn said, while she followed us.

"Where's your other friend, Kotori-san?"

"Oh, she might be using…"

"Yes?"

"...the toilet."

I almost choked on my saliva. Isn't she a girl? Aren't they supposed to be more feminine? For example, there's Kyoko-chan, then Kyoko-chan, oh and Kyoko-chan.

"Yami might be in the kitchen."

"Yami?"

"Yeah. She's my best friend."

Reborn nodded and we headed towards the kitchen to find a girl staring at the fridge.

"I THINK I FOUND A NEW PORTAL!" She shouted, while opening the fridge.

There's no way there's a portal in there. Suddenly, the bathroom door opened.

"Ah, I feel so relieved." Another girl said, while looking like she was sent to heaven.

She noticed us, "ah, do we have guests?"

"No, you're in our place. Our place." Gokudera replied.

The other girl turned around, "ah, have a seat!" She motioned towards the oven.

"WE'RE NOT SITTING IN THE OVEN."

"Why not? It's toasty and warm in there!" One of the girls said.

"And then one's gone and before they know it…all of them are gone." Kotori-san said with a smirk.

"Stop alluding our death!" I shouted to her and she frowned.

"How dare you yell at Kotori!" A girl shouted, jumping at me.

"Stop Yami."

"But-"

"It's fine, he's cute. I like cute things."

Was I just called cute by a girl?

"Hey, Kotori, guess what? I took a real nice break in there and now I feel much better. Seriously, you should try-"

"I'd rather not." Kotori said, stopping her.

"Well then Yami-"

"Don't you even mention my name." She said, with a smile.

CRUEL! Why are they so cruel to their friend!? Hibari walked over to the bathroom and went in. Oh god, is he trying it out? But then, he ran back out.

"It...stinks."

"E hee." The girl said, making a cute face.

THAT'S NOTHING TO MAKE A CUTE FACE FOR.

Reborn smacked the three girls on the head.

"Ow!"

"HOW DARE YOU HIT KOTORI!" Yami suddenly exclaimed.

THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE MAD ABOUT!?

"Hey, that's not fair. THIS IS MY SECOND TIME BEING HIT. Hit those two, two more times!" Kotori said.

OH C'MON, THEY'RE YOUR FRIENDS!

"Alright, sit down everyone and calm down."

Everyone sat down although the three girls were pouting.

"So, let's go over who we are."

"I'm the Bunny Man!" Kotori-san shouted.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID BEFORE!"

"My name is Beth. The great."

"I'm Yamisthemostawesomedragonever."

TOO LONG OF A NAME.

Reborn hit them once more but Kotori dodged.

"YOU KEEP HITTING ME TOO MANY TIMES." She complained.

"HOW DARE YOU HIT KOTORI!" HE DIDN'T EVEN HIT HER THAT TIME!

"My bruises look like mochi~. I wanna eat them." DON'T YOU DARE.

"Hey, Yami, Beth, look. We're sticking to the title. We're in the kitchen."

"Oh wow. Nice~."

STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL.

Reborn coughed and we all got serious.

"So, do you girls know where you are?"

"Toilet Land!"

"No. You are in the Vongola HQ, the strongest mafia group."

"Vongola? As in the clam?" Kotori asked.

"Yes."

Suddenly, Yami started laughing.

"Clammy!" She shouted, while pointing at us.

HOW RUDE.

"Do you know what the mafia is?"

"No, but I'm too lazy to listen."

"I think I do~."

"Shut up Beth, like hell you know."

"Well thanks Yami!"

"Your welcome~."

Reborn calmed them down and began to explain. After a few minutes, he looked at them.

"Do you understand?"

Yami and Beth nodded in unison.

"Wait, I'm sorry. Could you repeat that?" Kotori said, taking out her headphones.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG DAY.


	2. Kitchen, I mean, Bedroom Drama

**Chapter 2: Kitchen, I mean, Bedroom Drama**

-Tsuna POV-

Reborn had explained once more to Kotori, Yami, and Beth about the Vongola. They didn't look surprised for some unknown reason.

"Well, you could say, I've seen, no experienced worse." Kotori said, her eyes showing no life.

"I'VE FOUND PORTALS. THAT'S NOTHING!"

I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'VE NEVER FOUND ONE AFTER SEEING THAT FRIDGE INCIDENT.

"Hey, is anyone else hungry~?" Beth said, looking around.

"Um, we'll cook something." Kyoko and Haru said.

Wait, Kyoko and Haru!?

"We were whisked away too." They said with a laugh.

"Ugh, cute girls." Beth said.

"Feminine girls, bleh." Kotori said.

"WELCOME TO THE PORTAL!"

"If we refer to the title, I guess these are the girls that live their lives in a kitchen."

STOP MAKING A REFERENCE TO THE TITLE.

"H-how rude! H-Haru doesn't live her life in the kitchen!"

"Oh yes you do." Kotori replied, not even trying to make eye contact.  
"We do not!" Kyoko pouted.

How cute.

"Oh my god, I hate girls who try to act cute!" Beth said, while slamming her head to the table.

"S-should she be doing that?"

"If it's Beth, it's fine." Yami said with a smile.

"Hey, what's this~?" Kotori said, holding onto Yamamoto's sword.

"Ah, it's a katana. Wanna try playing with it?"

"Yeah. Let's start a murder party!" She said, pumping a fist in the air.

"A ha ha, yeah!"

DON'T AGREE TO IT YAMAMOTO.

"More importantly, do you understand everything?"

"I don't quite understand the flames." Beth said, with a confused look.

"You don't have to worry. None of you girls have them." Reborn said.

"What?! I want one! I don't wanna be a housewife!" Yami shouted.

"Too bad." Reborn told Yami and I looked at the ceiling.

I was tired and wanted to sleep. I left the kitchen and went to my bedroom. Did we seriously just waste everything on just a few kids we didn't need to worry about? I want to go home. Suddenly, I heard a small knock on the door. I opened it to see Kotori.

"What's the matter?"  
"...something else...I need to say." She said quietly.

"What is it?"

"There were 2 more people who time traveled but they disappeared on our way here."

"Eh!?"

"One of them was my sister and the other a friend of mine."

"Um, don't worry Kotori-san, I'll tell Reborn and the others tomorrow. For now, get some rest."

Kotori nodded her head cutely and left. Although she acted so sadistic, she was still a girl who didn't know anything. They all are. I ran after her and grabbed her hand.

"Are you lonely? Do you want me to keep you company?"

Kotori stared at me with no expression.

"A-ah, that sounded weird!"

"Thank you." She said with a warm smile.

"I want to sleep with you too!" Beth shouted, hugging Kotori.

"That's disturbing."

"Cruel!"

I stared as Beth and Kotori retreated to their rooms. I went back to my own and rested as I stared at the ceiling. Closing my eyes, I was lifted off into a deep sleep.

"Mother! Father! What are you doing?!"

Kotori stood there, small and tiny. Her father gripped her neck and held it up.

"L-let...go. I...can't….breathe."

"What are you doing!?" I woke up to the scream.

Getting out, I saw my friends and Reborn run across my room.

"What's going on?"

"A scream came from the room Kotori, Yami, and Beth are staying in."

What?! I hope they're okay. They'll be fine...right?

"How dare you hit Kotori with that trident!" Yami shouted, shielding Kotori.

"Hey, it's not my fault~. I was simply trying to possess you."

"Why?"

"Cuz it's fun~."

Hibari stood there with his tonfas raised.

"Why are you here Hibari-san?!"

"They were making a ruckus."

"We. Were. Playing. A. Game. Of. Cards." Beth declared.

"Doesn't matter, herbivores."

Hibari moved forward and swiped at Kotori. Or not.

"Um, I'm over here." Kotori said, appearing behind him.

What just happened? I shook my head, choosing to ignore it. After all, there was a brawl going on between Kotori and Hibari-san. Beth was glomping on Mukuro's pineapple head and Yami was punching him in the stomach.

Mukuro finally broke free with those scary illusions but Beth simply hit him on the head.

"Don't even think about it. Your facing a black belt in karate!"

"Oh, join the boxing team then, Beth!"

"How is karate-"

"Don't even ask." I said.

Now, Hibari and Kotori's battle was weird enough. Everytime Hibari striked, Kotori wasn't there. For some reason, she always had weapons appear out of nowhere. No one saw her take them out and that would be too many to hide in one hand. Jumping, she dodged Hibari's attack and kicked him with a twirl. She landed on one foot, the other foot raised. Preparing a fist attack, she raised her hands. Hibari smiled as he approached her, "quite the carnivore, aren't you?"

"Nah, screw that. I like both meat and veggies."

I looked at Yami and Beth. Beth was kicking Mukuro and Yami was attacking him with daggers. Wait, where'd she even get those!? Finally, the battle finished when Beth kicked Mukuro in the...well, you know, and Kotori somehow managed to reappear behind Hibari.

"You know...I guess I was wrong." Reborn said.

"?"

"Two of them do have flames."

Author's Note

Oh ya we got flames cheez-its! Take that. And'll I'll use em to protect Kotori! ALL HAIL KOTORI. Oh, and please review, favorite or follow if you like the story. Thank you very much!


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